Visitors come in different forms and for various reasons or call them excuses. Some will come to catch up with a long-lost friend yet others are just but looking for a place to sleep.
But for whatever reasons you intend to visit, you need to ask yourself; how long do I have to stay before leaving?
It is natural that a visitor, even without notifying his hosts, will be welcomed and given the reception that they deserve, however, things will begin to change after days of staying around.
Back then, some visitors, especially those from upcountry, would carry food for their hosts; however, the trend seems to have changed.
This was a good gesture that would pass as an indirect way of contributing to the home and being mindful of not increasing one’s food budget.
Much of this has changed and people are beginning to view visitors, especially those who overstay their welcome, as a bother.
Some visitors are an inconvenience
*Grace Nakitende is a mother of four who swears she has previously had to facilitate visitors who overstay to leave.
“I have had to ask two relatives [one an aunt and a distant cousin] who would visit for days without showing any sign of leaving. I told them you cannot come into a married woman’s home and stay for days. They have never come again,” she said.
Inconveniencing
Many families in urban areas have no visitors’ rooms, therefore, it is inconveniencing if you have to squeeze a visitor in the children’s or sitting room for days without end. Some will for days sleep on the couch without minding on when they should be leaving.
*Sylvia Namono, a mother of three, has had to house her sister for months now after she left her husband’s home three months ago.
“I had not expected her to bring her child but she came with her. I let it pass because I had thought she would be leaving after a month. It is now three months and she shows no sign of leaving. My daughter has been sleeping on the floor because she is using her bed,” Namono says.
Asked why she has not engaged her, she says she has tried dropping hints but they have not worked and she fears being aggressive because it would jeopardise their relationship. and talking to her directly would make her the talk in their family having chased her helpless sister.
However, if she is going to stay around for the next five months, Namono says: “I will be forced to forget all that and stand my ground as the lady of the house.”
Namono’s husband, she told us, will be away till January, which explains why she has allowed her to stay for this long.
Nsubuga Kasiimu, a Kamwokya resident, believes a visitor at maximum should not stay for more than a week.
“Things have become difficult so you would not want to overshoot your budget because you are feeding a visitor who has refused to leave,” he says, adding that even those who stay for a week should be able to contribute to food and if possible other bills.
However, Diana Kalembe, a mother believes there are those visitors who you would want to stay a little longer and those who should not.
“After giving birth to my second child, I requested my sister in her Senior Six vacation to come and give me a hand. But to my shock, I ended up even cooking the food we ate as she watched TV. After two weeks, I could not handle the extra stress. I gave her transport to return home,” she says visibly disgusted.
Privacy vs visitors
Visiting a married person could come with its inconvenience but even those without partners or living alone can be inconvenienced.
Visitors might be tempted to take advantage of the presence of more space in the house to stay long forgetting that their hosts also enjoy space and would want moments alone.
